Thursday, June 11, 2009

Baby Whale Dies. Boy I wish that were a euphamism.

Today I’m taking a break from my latest series of blog topics, and writing about something else. A while ago I watched a series called Blue Planet: Seas of Life, by the BBC. It was an awesome nature documentary all about life in the ocean. We see many different aspects of sea life and many diverse environments in the ocean; the abyssal depths, the pelagic, the reefs, the coastline, etc. We see all kinds of creatures and behaviors, all with a killer score and expert narration. Definitely one to check out.

But be forewarned. One of the episodes contains some of the most depressing animal footage I have ever seen. Except maybe the cat-torture video produced by a fourteen-year-old future serial killer.

So without further ado, here is the story of a mother blue whale and her calf. Blue whale calves are the cutest baby animals longer than a city bus in the world. Everybody loves whales, right? Who would’ve guessed this story ends in a way that instills in viewers the desire to make toast in the bathtub?

Blue whales only feed at certain times of the year, in places where the plankton is richest. So most of a blue whale’s time is spent conserving energy. Then, they make their annual journey to their feeding grounds. Usually they do this in groups, because the ocean hates whales, and they’re much safer if they stick together. But one unfortunate whale can’t keep up with the group because her kid is slowing her down. So, mother and calf must make this perilous journey alone, just the two of them against the world.

Sounds like the plot for the latest inspirational feel-good movie of the year, right? Boy, are you all gonna be disappointed. They’ve been traveling at a whale calf’s pace for several weeks, when they receive the unwelcome attentions of a pod of orcas, commonly known as killer whales. Now, everyone knows killer whales are delightful clowns, who like nothing more than to do nifty tricks with giant balls, wave to the audience with their flippers, and jump over rocky atolls in great inspiring shots that Michael Jackson simply must sing about. They couldn’t possibly be a danger to a mother whale and her calf, right? Especially when they’re about one-fourth her size. Right?

Wrong! In real-life, Shamu is a heartless murderer who has no compunctions with devouring baby seals, dolphins, and belugas. You know, the pretty white whales Raffi sings about all the time. If a human being thought like a killer whale, he would eat your baby. And then wipe his mouth with your puppy.

And lest I forget to mention, blue whale calves are on the menu today. Despite being one hundred plus feet long, the blue whale mother has (surprisingly) virtually no ability to defend herself or her calf against an organized attack. For hours, the pod harasses the two whales until they no longer have the strength to go on. Of course, we’re treated to the tragic sight of the mother continuing to defend her calf long after it’s already dead.

And to add insult to injury, the killer whales only eat the calf’s tongue and lower jaw. The rest of the meat is allowed to sink to the seafloor to be picked apart by scavengers. Specifically, hagfish. Do you know what a hagfish is? It is a loathsome parasite, just fishlike enough to be called a fish. It’s also known as the slime eel. Because that’s what it does when it’s not rasping bits of flesh off of both dead, and living animals. In other words, the last animal you would want to be eaten by.

And the mother, who has delayed her own feeding journey to try and keep her calf alive, is left to make the journey alone, severely weakened by the fight with the killer whales. Methinks that if whales had major arteries in their wrists-and wrists-this is the time she would open them.

How freaking depressing is that?! I mean, seriously, who wants to see that? Who thought it would be a good idea to use that footage? We all know nature has a darker side, but where whales are concerned, I think most people would prefer to remain ignorant of certain facts about their lives. Like the fact that baby whales die.

I think most people would rather see footage of a killer whale attack where, just as it looks hopeless for the mother and her calf, a nuclear submarine shows up just in time to torpedo the hell out of Free Willy and save the baby blue whale. Everyone goes home feeling good about themselves, knowing that there is still justice and compassion in the world,

and babies never die, ever.

Ever.

2 comments:

Janell said...

Good essay, Jack. Keep it up.

Sue said...

Sometimes those documentaries get to graphic. Good post, Jack.